“I am the only one supporting my daughters. I raised them alone so I alone make the decisions. Since their father didn’t help raise them, I don’t need to tell him what happens to the girls.
So said actress Ruffa Gutierrez when show biz scribes recently asked to be updated on the status of her relationship with ex-husband Yilmaz Bektas, the father of her daughters Lorin, 17, and Venice, 16. years.
“I’m always emotional when it comes to my kids, especially since Lorin told me she plans to study abroad next year. I already have separation anxiety right now,” Ruffa said during a recent virtual encounter. “I can’t believe time flies so fast. Now she and Venice are teenagers and also trying to find their own identities.
Ruffa said she imposed several conditions on Lorin before allowing him to leave. “First, she should study self-defense, like taekwondo, boxing or krav maga. Second, she should attend a Bible study. It’s so that when she gets there, her values are intact. She would know how to say no to people who would try to do things to her that she doesn’t like,” the mother said.
As for his plans when Lorin – and possibly Venice – go to study abroad, Ruffa said: “I don’t know yet what I will do. I’ll cross the bridge when I get there. At the moment, even if I have dogs, theirs is a poor substitute for the love of my children. But Lorin said, ‘Don’t give away my room yet. I’ll be back.'”
When reporters pushed her a little further about her ex-handsome Turkish businessman, she said: “If he wants to give time and effort, or financial support, he is welcome. I should also say, ‘thank you for your cum.’ That’s all he ever gave!
To be fair to Yilmaz, Ruffa said he called the girls sometimes. “But when he communicates, we end up not being on good terms. The problem is that he will always promise to come and visit the girls, but he will not go through with it, ”explained the actress. “He wants us to visit Turkey, but I said I don’t think it’s the right time. They are not yet of legal age. We can still meet him in the United States or here in the Philippines.
Yilmaz’s last visit to the country was in 2008, Ruffa added.
The actress, however, said their daughters were “old enough to understand that their parents had a unique setup. Yes, they live far from their father, but that doesn’t make them any less beautiful than they are,” a- she pointed out.
“There are other families with a similar set-up, but the kids thrive, and they grow up well behaved and with moral values. That’s why I always say to girls, ‘No matter how much pain you feel in your heart, use it to become a better person. Use it to strengthen and empower yourself. This is also why, like me, I encourage them to support advocacy related to the abuse of women and children.
Ruffa also said she wouldn’t mind if any of the girls ever decide to enter beauty contests. “I have no problem if they choose to follow in my footsteps. Being a beauty queen takes a lot of effort, she has to have confidence. She must also study and be aware of what is happening in the world. Being a beauty queen opened a lot of doors for me,” said the second Miss World 1993 princess.
Ruffa is one of the busiest actors during the quarantine period. She has been part of two lockdown set productions (“Love Thy Woman” and “The House Arrest of Us”) and is currently in another, recorded for the TV5 series “Stay in Love”.
Even though she was away for long periods of time, Ruffa made sure the girls were never home alone. She sometimes had them stay at her parents’ (Eddie Gutierrez and Annabelle Rama) house in Quezon City.
“It’s good that they are not rebels. They’re two homebodies,” she laughed, recalling the time when, as a teenager, she would sneak out of the house against the orders of her overprotective mother, Annabelle. “Although dealing with young people these days is difficult. You have to be strict but at the same time understanding. I try to be both, and I tell you, it’s not easy.
A lot has changed, Ruffa said, since the whole world began to suffer from the pandemic earlier this year. “Right now, I’m just grateful that my family is still intact and that we have a home because other people have it worse,” she shared with reporters. “These are the times when you realize the things that really matter. During the lockdown, I was only using 10 pieces of clothing again and again. Also, pulling out your Chanel and Hermès bags these days is a waste of time. Everyone world uses UVC (sterilization) bags instead. I have three!”
Ruffa added: “You realize that life is more important. All the material things you own don’t matter in the end…everyone’s life has changed because of the virus.
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